Men vs. Women on Dating Apps

One of my guy friends asked me, “Is it different talking to women versus men on dating apps?” After receiving an emphatic YES, he inquired, “How is it different?” In honor of my buddy’s inquisition, I'm writing this blog post.

Since I used to be “heterosexual” and then “bisexual” on my dating apps, I went back through my history to find some of my favorite first messages from men. Let me repeat, these are the FIRST messages these men sent to me. I expected creepy messages from men during conversations (which I got PLENTY of), but I was always baffled by some of the first messages I received. Here are a few of my favorites:

*To protect the identities of these charmers, I put little animal stickers over their faces*

Questions I have about these messages:

1) Does asking women if they’re “dtf” ever actually work?

2) Do women ever ask men to be their boyfriends in first messages? This happened to me a LOT with men, but has NEVER happened with a woman.

3) Let’s all just imagine a woman sending the message, “I got a vagina that needs serving.” (I hope you’re laughing as hard as I am about this.)

4) So many men asked me to be their “sugarbaby” or “sugarbabe.” To all the straight and bi women reading this, did you ever get these messages? Or does something about the way I look scream “sugarbaby?”

5) Does “tryna chill” mean have sex? I wasn’t cool enough to decode many of these messages from men… Women’s messages are so much easier to read, fyi.

6) To the man I covered with an elephant: Dude, you have got to step up your game. Don’t tell a woman she looks like a man in your first contact. Ideally, you wouldn’t tell her she looks like a man ever, but it’s definitely a bad call for your very first message. 

I started making a first-messages-from-women image, but it ended up being too boring to be worth the time. Basically, the messages all said something like, “Hi [Chapstick Femme]. How are you?” The MOST unusual message I’ve gotten from a woman said: “Your eyebrows are so powerful. Wow. 😍” ← An extraordinarily sweet and unique compliment.

In sum, women aren’t creeps. I’ve NEVER gotten a first message from a woman that felt weird or gross. Yet another reason to #gogay, ladies. ;)