Surprise! I'm Still a Lesbian.

I’m convinced that every gay person has that one family member who is especially shitty about their queerness. Unfortunately, I am no exception.

I came out to this family member less than a year ago and it did NOT go well. Not only did she call me a dyke, but she equated lesbianism with pedophilia, pretended to barf when “thinking about having sex with another woman,” was “confused” by how I could possibly be attracted to my butch then-girlfriend, and insinuated that my then-girlfriend—who was my first—had tricked me into thinking I was gay.

So, the coming out conversation could’ve been better, to say the least.

Fortunately, I only hear from this person once or twice a year, but when I do, it’s always difficult. A few weeks ago, I randomly received a Facebook message from her that said the following:

“Who’s the guy in your profile picture?”

A few things are strange about this inquisition. First, yes. We all know what she’s really asking. But second, the guy in my profile picture is my childhood best friend whom she has known for at LEAST 20 years. Like, she knows him. She watched us grow up together. Also, she knows that HE IS ALSO GAY.

On top of these already bizarre points, the picture itself couldn’t be much gayer. (Okay, maybe if we had rainbows painted on skin, but whatever.)

Since this is an anonymous blog, I’ll give you a little taste of the picture:

Doesn’t this photo scream “we’re a heterosexual couple?”

Here’s how the rest of the conversation went:

Me: “The guy is Jared Clark.” (pseudonym)

Her: “Oh, I didn’t even recognize him. I thought it might be someone you were seeing.”

Me: “I’m still a lesbian.”

Her: “Oh okay.”

It’s extraordinary the mental gymnastics people will perform to believe what they want to believe.

I’m hurt and angry and disappointed and not at all surprised. Hmph.