*Please enjoy the excessive lesbian lovin’ in
honor of Lesbian Visibility Day*
When I was 22-years-old, I had a slumber
party with my best friend (this is not going where you think it is—sorry). I
was crying on Natasha’s couch (her chosen pseudonym) telling her about this
woman I was totally in love with. I
had confided in Natasha months prior that I wanted to be with this woman—we’ll
call her Anne. Anne had blown me off and I was torn up about it. I was sobbing
on Natasha’s couch, telling her how much Anne meant to me, and complaining that my romantic
feelings for Anne obviously were not reciprocated.
Natasha asked, “So, if Anne wanted to be with
you, like have sex with you, you would?” I readily responded, “Oh yeah. In a
heartbeat. I’m in love with her.” My friend then patted my back and kindly
suggested, “Maybe you aren’t straight?” I automatically responded, “No, I’m
straight. It’s just Anne. She’s special.” My response wasn’t defensive,
just ignorant.
My patient friend Natasha further suggested,
“Well, if you can feel this way with Anne, maybe you could feel this way about
another woman?” *Mind blown* Maybe I could feel this way about another woman! Also, did I mention that I had a boyfriend at the time?
Yeah, I wasn’t super into him. In fact, I had blown him off on Valentine’s Day, because why would I assume my boyfriend wanted to spend Valentine’s Day with
me? Weird.
Natasha had watched me drool over Anne and
completely disregard my boyfriend—we’ll call him Paul—for months. I kept
telling her I thought I should break up with him. Eventually Natasha asked,
“How would you feel if you found out Paul was sleeping with other women?”
I scoffed/laughed and said, “I hope he is! That would make this so much easier for
me!” Hindsight is 20/20, my friends.
Naturally, I dated Paul for another couple
months. In the meantime, I replayed my friend’s question in my head every
night. “Maybe you aren’t straight?” Eventually, I found the only logical answer
to her question… I was bisexual! In a few more months, I warmed up to the L word.
Natasha - thank you for your friendship, your
patience, and your fantastic questions that made my lesbianism visible to myself. You’re
amazing and I love you.
To all my lezzies and lezzie allies, happy Lesbian Visibility Day!
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