Just Say She's Hot!

Let’s chat about something that really grinds my gears. When I show some of my straight friends (men and women) pictures of the women I’m talking to or seeing, the conversation goes something like this:

Me: *shows my friend a picture of a super hot masculine woman*

Straight Friend (SF): Well, she’s not my type.

Me: Well duh. I know she’s not your type, but she’s cute, right?

SF: I mean, we have different tastes.

Me:

I know my straight friends aren’t INTO masculine women, but that shouldn’t mean they can’t acknowledge that some masculine women look better than other masculine women. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’ve lost the ability to evaluate men.

For example, I have a few queer male friends who are into feminine men. I am (generally) into masculine women, so feminine men are pretty far from my “type.” But when my besties show me photos of their recent flings, I can evaluate their hotness! And when I show them pictures of my masculine cuties, their responses are always something like, “Oh my God! She’s a hottie. Dayyyyum.” ← Highly acceptable response.

I think the reason my straight friends react so poorly is because the women I usually date are gender non-conforming. The one time I dated a feminine woman, this kind of awkward conversation never happened. In fact, my straight men AND women friends were like, “Wow. She’s beautiful.” Their rude reactions are not totally about sexuality mismatches, since my straight women friends can acknowledge cute feminine women.

I don’t understand why some straight people can’t put themselves in other peoples’ shoes. When my straight women friends show me pictures of men, I can still appreciate their cuteness, consider how excited I would be to date said man if I were a straight woman, and give them a “Woah, he’s a cutie!”

Straight folks, put your heteronormative bullshit aside and tell your queer friends their partners are cute. When your friend is excited to show you a picture of whomever they are seeing, be a decent human and friend and react appropriately: